Arkansas But you can make requests for repair and trust-building actions in the present. ... First we need to release all the feelings that we carry as resentments. Here are 5 steps to release and let go of resentment: 1 Acknowledge Resentment. Armed Forces Americas Your email address will not be published. “When I think of that person,” she says, “I’m left with a friend, not an enemy.”. Massachusetts Ask to meet with them to talk about it? Washington 1) Prayer to release anger, resentment and bitterness God, hear me and answer me. “Most people like to think that they’re not judgmental, or they have good reason to have the negative opinion that they have about somebody or something,” says Berg. If you’re not careful, resentment can build in any relationship. This is the equivalent of putting our peace in someone else’s hands. She is a blogger, workshop presenter, speaker, and psychotherapist in private practice. Think loving thoughts for the person you resent. Keep in mind that just because you can’t change something from the past, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience healing around it in the present. (Free resources and downloadable worksheets are available at or This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Idaho In order to overcome and release your resentment, you first need to become aware of it. You’re so much greater than that moment.”, When we find ourselves caught in the grip of resentment, Katie says, we’re believing a story that isn’t true. Overcome Resentment Prayer Heavenly Father, your supply of wisdom, peace and power never run dry. You know I am troubled by thoughts and feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness. The key to avoiding getting stuck in a victim mindset—resentment—is to understand that although you may have been victimized in the past, you are no longer a victim today. “That person isn’t causing my resentment. Privacy Policy. You’re welcome Teresa! Alaska It’s been eight months since initial disclosure. Thanks Priscilla, I’m so glad the info is helpful to you. Florida Kentucky Over time, resentment can grow and lead to bitterness which makes it impossible to maintain a healthy relationship. There is no one right answer. Iowa Thanks JayMarie, and good luck with your gratitude list! Gratitude—when practiced consistently—can become a life-affirming, joyful habit that keeps resentment and victim thinking at bay. Oregon “It’s your life, and at the end of the day, you’re going to have to live in your body, with your feelings, and with your emotions,” she explains. Wyoming Approach resentment as the addictive state of mind it is. “I only have one person in the world to work with, and that’s me.”. It’s simply not possible to feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. The definition of resentment I prefer is “victim anger“—a phrase coined by Pia Mellody. But the alternative is far worse—not only for us, but for everyone we’re in relationship with. New Hampshire Here are four powerful tips to reduce resentments and live a happier life. And when I say “where you may have a role” I’m in no way suggesting that you are responsible for what your unfaithful spouse did or didn’t do, or for his acting out behaviors. Guam Resentment, I have found, feeds my sense of victimhood. Armed Forces Pacific If you’d like to receive blog posts just as soon as they happen, enter your email address now in the Subscribe to Blog via Email form on the right of this page. Rather than deny, minimize, or rationalize it—simply admit “I have a resentment.”. It’s a practice that gets easier the more you do it. Every part of my life is a gift that demonstrates your goodness and grace. Louisiana Thank you! Colorado The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Be in the Present. Connecticut It’s hard to admit our imperfections. American Samoa Berg concurs. Michigan “It’s the same for somebody struggling in pain and resentment,” he says. Why Recurring Anger Can Be a Dangerous Habit. The same is true with your mind.”. The basic steps of working through resentment. “We master what we practice. Maryland It turns out this quote has a long history with not much clarity about who actually said it for the first time:, Vicki is the #1 best-selling author of Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts and host of the Beyond Bitchy Podcast: Mastering the Art of Boundaries. And the real world is the way the world actually is.”, Another adage from 12-step programs describes expectations as “premeditated resentments.” If we can accept that the world is unlikely to conform to our ideals, our expectations become more realistic.


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